Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Pace Yourself


When it comes to your personal life, excluding your job duties, is there a rule which says your need to get things done now? This is when I most often heard my father use the term, "Rome was not built in a day," in order to complete a task without actually loathing the process. It was also his way of saying I was working too hard. Even today, years later, I find myself needing to remind myself of my fathers indirect advice. Not doing so will most likely create stress upon myself physically as well as mentally.

As we grow older it's important to pace ourselves. We need to be aware of certain aspects of our health which require us to be keen about how our body's perform while completing out of the ordinary tasks. Think of the last project you completed. Were certain muscles sore, or were you weak for the next few days? These are signs you are working too hard. These after effects also have the potential to mask or in some cases indicate a bigger more serious medical problem caused by your overexertion.

Recently while visiting my 95 year old grandmother, I was amazed at how well she takes care of herself. She lives in a 3 level, 4 bedroom home alone. Her house appears to be one ready for "open house" and it's always clean with nothing out of place. The amazing thing about this is she completes her chores by herself. One day I asked her, "Grandmommy, don't you need help with all this housework?" and her reply was, "Why, then I would be bored." But she she also told me she paces herself. She says it is not important when the job is finished, just take your time and make sure it eventually does get finished. Pretty good advice from a wise woman.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Your Legacy


At some point of our lives the one question we may all eventually ask ourselves is why are we here and what's our purpose? Our lives might be a more fulfilling if we knew there were a moment where we had contributed to a better future for others. For myself not being a parent or having ever had offspring of my own, I believe a more promising future lies in the hands of our children. The question for myself is - might there be something I can do to enhance the performance of this worthy task at the hands of our children? Whatever it is I do or can contribute, big or small, to help provide a better life for others shall ultimately be my legacy.

Legacy is a strong word is this day and age when we have heroes, superstars, or public officials who leave strong legacy's comprised by things they had excelled or causes they believed were worthwhile. But as common people, we never so much think we leave a legacy - but we do. Our legacy can be something we have control over or if we don't, our loved ones will create one from their memories. The question is, do they have good memories or negative ones?

As I now enter the second half of my life, my thought is, a head stone or burial plot is not suffice for me. In fact, in order for me to reach the moment we all live for, an optimistic end, I truly believe my creator is going to hold out and wait for me to offer something wonderful for future generations to carry on. My task is to convey a selfless act which defy's my selfishness. I know I have it in me and it feels good to admit this might be the first step to creating my legacy. What will be yours?

Dental Hygiene


Ever been around the elderly or less frequently, a middle aged person who emits a mothball odor? It's that smell we all recognize yet we are unaware of its cause. In recent years, scientists have been able to identify this smell as 2- Nonenal. We know the source since it's usually sitting next to us or slowly passes us by during our everyday life. It's not an odor which is completely unbearable since some of our sweet humble relatives emit this odor and for that reason it's non-threatening. Non the less, if we think about it, we would take all measures to avoid ever emitting such an odor ourselves.

One of the main culprits to this smell begin with, if not poor, relaxed dental hygiene. As the effects from being too efficient with our oral hygiene practices begin to do damage to our teeth and gums, certain odors begin to emit initially in our mouths. Over time, most likely many years, this odor tends to evolve into the one in this topic. Since our mouths are the initial point we receive any source which has the potential to cause odor it's also the initial point to combat odors caused by the foods we eat. Not addressing our mouths may lead to decay. Decay may be passed through the bloodstream causing issues in other areas of the body such as our lungs. This decay in the lungs may cause other pungent odors we exhale.

Many of us view our dental health secondary to our overall physical health. This might be because how our society ranks the need between the two. If you can only afford one or the other, the one being medical over dental intelligently. Also when oral decay has begun, we tend to have less coverage from the insurance perspective in order to fix the problem. Wouldn't it be easier if we combined the two into one category since both play an intricate part in our overall health?

The bottom line is, we have the ability to avoid many odors caused by aging. Flossing and brushing 3 times a day ought to do the trick. Being lazy will most likely give you the end result you don't want. Good oral hygiene will not only prevent decay and disease but will also encourage you to smile more which also has positive benefits to your overall health.

Friday, September 18, 2009

Embracing Your Age




If there is anything we can all count on it is the simple fact we are going to get older. This is not something we can postpone or a situation we try to deal with when we are mentally ready. Getting older is inevitable and permanent until our life's end. Fighting this process will only accelerate it's effects through stress, worry, and the tiresome search for a means to slow it down. Embracing our age will not stop it from happening but it will allow us to savor the moment we've arrived, in many cases, against all odds.

We all have a good reason to enjoy this moment in our lives. Aging is not only a physical process, but mental one as well. It's a time to reflect on how we got here and also a time to project where we are going. If we dwell on what we once were able to achieve when we were younger may have a negative effect on our aspirations for the future. The day we say we are too old to participate in anything is the day we might as well succumb to our nonexistence.

Embracing our age is a state of mind. If you have not done so already, it may take some time for you to feel its beneficial effects. To believe we are without limits is one of the most immediate and motivating reasons to be in this state of mind.

Monday, September 14, 2009

Wasting Your Breath



Ever had a relative, friend or neighbor who never seemed to have anything interesting to tell you. Regardless the topic of your conversation, they always seemed to bring up the same boring crap you've heard time and time again? My late father put it best when he said, "They talk about nothing!" These are the type of people you often avoid by plotting strategies how not to engage in any sort of conversation other than a friendly wave or cordial hello. Heaven forbid you ask them how they are doing or else imagine hanging yourself from the nearest tree.

As much as you recognize these annoying situations and you swear up and down you'll never display the same dull/boring characteristics, beware of yourself. This type of behavior will creep up on you without warning. The best way to avoid becoming a rambler who wastes their breath is to attempt to be a good listener as well as know your audience. Come to the realization some people just don't care to hear your story. By all means, never tell the same story. The only time somebody wants to know about your accomplishments is if they asked you and even at best, keep it simple.

If you ever want to know how it feels to be a rambler do what I did - albeit I did not do this on purpose: After a stormy night and the power at home was knocked out, I decided to go out for breakfast. When the waitress came over I asked her if the power went off where she lived. Then I proceeded to tell her the only reason I was there for breakfast was - she interrupts mid sentence - "More coffee?" Before I could finish my story she cut me off. My partner looked at me and we both laughed because we realized I was displaying the characteristics of someone wasting their breath. I did not find the waitress rude, but rather cunning with her ability to not take part in my boring story. Non the less it was embarrassing.

An Eye for Success


Since I'm not a parent or hold a psychology degree to substantiate my view, this topic will be a shot in the dark. However my experience as a child coupled with common sense may be a helpful insight for those raising children. I envy most parents ability to sacrifice and having patience. These are traits which don't apply to me. While my ultimate destiny may have been curbed, it wasn't because my parents lacked the ability to sacrifice or be patient, but rather inexperience.

In a previous topic contained in this blog, "Positive Influence," I touched briefly on how the course of my future was redirected. This unintentionally happened out of my parents fear of me becoming gay. In the end, my ultimate dreams were not achieved and instead were redirected. Regardless of my parents efforts to discourage me from being a homosexual, I'm a gay man today. Resentment would describe my feelings if I ever found these efforts were to only benefit their social standing and not mine. To their defense, they've always believed my life would be much harder as a gay man. To my defense, I don't live a lie.

If your child appears to show mannerisms or characteristics which displease you, or you think these attributes would lead to something you believe to be misguided, think before you act. Trying to steer a child away from something they are naturally drawn will most likely delay or quite possibly change the course of their ultimate achievement and possibly a very successful future. Your instinctive actions are not always the wise choice for a child. Consider observing them and take a chance by giving them the right tools to express themselves.

This approach does not just apply to a child showing gay characteristics. In many cases a child may seem introverted. It's quite possible they have the mindset or thought process way beyond our comprehension. We should never assume the child is weird, unstable or stupid as an instinctive reaction. Never underestimate their possibilities. The answer may simply be to consider the child a prodigy and point them into the right direction to eventually become a genius, or at the least, successful.

Big decision? It should be. The question is whether you want your offspring to achieve their full potential or do you want them to be your pawn? If you choose for them to be your pawn, they quite possibly may end up resenting you. Take the time to research how you should rear your child. Don't be discouraged by their special needs.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Vision


If you found a way to this blog page you are most likely in or past your 40s and wearing contact lenses or glasses to read this topic. Quite a few people in our age group did not need the assistance of spectacles until just a few years ago. This is one of the true signs of our deteriorating and aging body's. Face it, if it has not happened now, give it a few more years. The hard part about losing our vision now is the simple fact we tend to read more as we get older and the need for our eyesight is never been more important.

Recently I learned there's a new type of bifocal called Progressive Lenses. These are glasses which have a bifocal without the engraved line in the center of the lens which basically tells people you are old. They take a day or two to get use to, but once you do, you have no idea how easy your world will become. If you were glasses to correct your vision due to farsightedness or nearsightedness, these are wonderful because you never need to take them off in order to don another pair for reading. If you do not need corrective glasses, I suggest you visit your local supermarket and get some readers.

These glasses made my life so much easier because I forgot how often I was looking for a pair of readers before having the progressive lenses. When we're young, our eyes are more adaptable to different situations, light, dark, vision from afar, or close. As we get older, this adaptability becomes less reliable. The Progressive Lenses actually gives me back that adaptability - at least from a reading standpoint. My memory of the hassle of looking for readers was well forgotten until Lucy, my new puppy, decided she needed to chew on something and it was my new glasses.

Updated 09-16-09

This paragraph is an update in response to a comment made by "Bob" as I concur when he says he wishes his reader portion were stronger. My reader portion is not strong enough either. This is an important consideration while in eye doctors' office. Don't be too hasty to leave the office without being perfectly comfortable with your magnification of the reading portion because if you do, it will cost your a fortune to change it. You will most likely need to reschedule an appointment in order to change the prescription, thus paying more for office visit as well as new lenses.

Until my budget allows me to afford a new pair, the aggravation of not having my glasses haunts me on a daily basis. In order for me to read, I need to dig into my bag and find my readers once again. If you never had a pair of these glasses, you do not know my pain. Without naming names, the loved one who does not think it's a big deal, guess again.

Friday, September 11, 2009

A Smile





Ever wake up and wonder what kind of day is before you? Or is it most likely after the day is over when you do your critique? You know, when you use some adjective to describe what kind of day it actually was: Great, terrific, nice, special, memorable, lousy, crappy or shitty. What preludes these descriptive choices? The situation is different for everyone. Sometimes you do not realize your mood until somebody points it out. If you are having a not so great day someone may joke around and say, "You got up on the wrong side of the bed." Or "Somebody's having a bad case of the Mondays."

Does the attitude you project, not so much how you actually feel, play an intricate part or have an influence rather, in the course of your day? In other words, can a simple smile change everything? I believe it may. There are health benefits to smiling. Something bothering you - smile. For me, it's not clear what psychological effect this has, but it helps me generate a different way to address my primary aggravation. Sure, sometimes I forget but will surely regret not using this simple technique later in my day. Not only will smiling adjust your attitude, it also makes you look more attractive. If you want a person or people to notice you, just smile.

Anything can trigger the beginning of a shitty day. In my case, sometimes the simple fact we are out of creamer for my coffee will have this trigger a sour beginning. If this happen it means I need to get out of my pajamas, get completely dressed in order to run to store and buy more. A big wrench is thrown into my day if I'm unable to drink my coffee the way I like it. This jot to the store first thing in the morning sucks. This is the precise time I need to smile. At the store I smile at the person stocking the shelves or the person ringing me up. This easy facial gesture really helps with how I process the fact I am doing something which is not in my original plan.

Beware of the ones who are miserable, or more so the ones determined to stay that way. They can't stand to see someone appear happy let alone actually be happy. Recently I was in a great mood and it was all influenced from having a receptive smile. Someone asked me why I was smiling so much. This hurt my feelings a little, but I drove on and felt the better person for continuing to be happy. For a person to ask this kind of question is a pretty good indication they are miserable or generally displeased with their current situation. Do not let people like this discourage you from using a smile as a tool to make your day brighter.

Who are you more apt to approach, the person with the scowl on their face or the one smiling? The smile works the same way as body language. Are you going to approach the person with their arms naturally at their sides or the one with their arms crossed? The person with their arms crossed has the body language of someone who wants to be left alone. So keep smiling.

Monday, September 7, 2009

Moderation



A few topics back, specifically, "The Workout," I made multiple uses of the word "adequate." My emphasis on the meaning of this word is key. In terms of exercise, we never want to overdo anything or else suffer the consequences of possible pain or injury. As children, we were sort of taught this with the story of "Goldilocks and the Three Bears." Never too much of anything, but just right. Though the author most likely was emphasizing the negatives of either greed or trespassing - my take was "just right" or in other words, "adequate." Yet there's another very important word to think about in all aspects of our lives and that being "moderation." Moderation puts too much of a good thing into perspective.

About 4 years ago I suffered a heart attack. When released from the hospital, the medical staff handed me a leaflet of things to avoid or else increase my risk to experience another cardiac episode. Stop smoking, reduce intake of fried food, red meat, foods high in sodium, foods high in fat, foods with trans fats and the list continued. Since I was guilty of all these pleasures as well as a few other pleasures not listed, it meant reinventing my entire way I live my life. In my situation, drastic changes were necessary. For the proceeding two years I was adamant about consuming a strict heart healthy diet.

Within the last couple of years this emphasis to maintain a specific rule of what foods to eat began to wear me thin. Almost to the point of stressing me out, and its no rumor stress is just as detrimental to the heart. Using moderation has allowed me to enjoy some of those pleasures again, but with caution. Thinking moderation allowed me to realize it's not necessary to eat the entire container of Hagen Daas or eat red meat as my primary source of protein. If I use moderation I can enjoy these wonderful treats and not be such a stick in the mud when it comes to sharing meals with friends since I do try to blend with society. Keep in mind there's a few things moderation will not work and one being smoking - quit now!

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Home Improvements


To me, there's no better feeling than having an idea and then, voila, it's a reality. Or perhaps there is, and that's if "voila" really worked to make it happen. No, in most cases, when it comes to home improvements, its a back breaker. Unless of course, you have gazillions of dollars to pay someone to do it for you. In that case, you may likely only be satisfied with your idea and not so much the feeling you get from the "hands on" experience. The ability to look at what you yourself accomplished is such a reward. As the saying goes, "There's no better satisfaction than a job well done'"

We bought our house almost 10 years ago. We were in our mid 30s and were very ambitious as well as had the energy to update every aspect of our home to conform to one in the 21st century rather than a home you would see in a 1960s sitcom. Only one problem, our bank account was not as ambitious as we were. Little by little we did one project after another. It's taken 10 years, and we've come full circle from where we started, but we are finally about to complete the transformation and we've basically did it on our own - blood, sweat and tears.

Our final project has always been the back yard. We may have never completed it had it not been for our new family member, our dog Lucy. We have two other dogs, Bugsy and Roscoe, and they've never been a nuisance in any way. Lucy on the other hand has all the problematic characteristics of a dog. One of her favorite things to do is to find dirt or mud and dig, then track it everywhere. Me being a clean freak am at my wits end.

Solution: Have approximately 15 cubic yards, or roughly 40,000 pounds of river cobble to cover up all the dirt, at the same time giving the lawn a more manicured appearance, since it will be the only thing we will need to maintain once the project is done. Physically we knew we could do this since we did the front yard 9 years earlier. Since our home was built on a ridge, the end result is the look of a mountain high meadow complete with pine trees and a tranquil atmosphere. May I also point out that your body does a lot of changes in 9 years and despite all the sore muscles, the reward of doing it yourself is like nothing else. As of right now, the project is only two thirds done. Sore as I am from moving rock, I'm energized to complete the job. that will be done with my next paycheck where I seriously consider hiring a couple of migrant workers to assist. Final thought: Poor Lucy, there's no place for you to dig.

Friday, September 4, 2009

Positive Influences



There comes a time when we realize our days, months, years or even the lifespan we have to accomplish short and long term goals is limited. Negative influences have the potential to slow or stop our efforts. Unfortunately, this is a time when we may need to "clean house," so to speak, and begin to eliminate all negative influences which may slow the progression of our self growth or our ability to achieve goals. This quite possibly might involve disassociating ourselves, or participating less frequently in family events. Not in terms of divorce, though some cases may warrant a divorce as part of our agenda in eliminating the negative. More so in terms of the ones we love who've reluctantly encouraged us to excel, and if we did, they begrudgingly congratulated us. The kind of congratulations which seems to reward them for their false sense they were personally responsible for our achievement. I speak passionately about this because this is an snapshot of my epic experience.

In order to flush these negative influences aside, courage and strength are vital. The epitome of this situation is it's taken years, even decades for some to realize they can rise above by accepting and congratulating themselves for believing in their capacity to do great things in life. It is not easy to turn away from ones we love, but if they are not our main source of encouragement, move on.

During my childhood my vision of what my future may hold, like many children do, was my desire to sing, dance and perform or even be a movie star like my favorite actor, Superman's Christopher Reeve. In my household, had I displayed any hint of interest for the performing arts, it was considered gay or odd. This was not a good career choice because of the lifestyle it may eventually lead. There were hints of my affection for the same sex even back then and efforts were enacted to sway me to the opposite by handing me a football or baseball mitt. Basically ignoring my destiny was the result of those who tried to sway me. In turn the beginning of my dissatisfaction with my own self image was replaced.

Today I am happy, healthy, wise - and gay. I surround myself with many things which are characterized as gay. I'm married to a man, I work as a flight attendant, I take care of my health by eating right and abiding to a fitness regimen. Performing arts are still very interesting to me and I'm able to identify true works of art. Nobody is going to convince me the way I live my life is wrong or the wrong direction - I know better. I'm now taking applications for more positive influences.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Complex Being


As young men we tend to seek the secrets of the universe, our sanity and compassion, a potential soul mate and possibly our state of nirvana. As we approach our midlife years we shift our search for spiritual growth, sometimes through the destruction of our previous beliefs, and anything that could lead to interesting dialogue. Sound deep? This is my perspective as a man. The female verbiage should be the same when describing what men seek rather than her primitive thought of our search for only food, sex and sleep. I point this out because we are taught to believe, even in this day of political correctness, women are more complex human beings than men. This is partly because women are known to have many states of consciousness at any given moment, overshadowing the complexity of men. From my perspective men are just as, if not more, complex than women. Women wear their thoughts and feelings as if it were high fashion, while men in the same respect show more self-restraint. for men this by far shows more power, stability, as well as complexity. - just a thought.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Fitness On the Go


Since my job is being a crew member for a commercial airline, people often wonder where I find time or resources to maintain my exercise regimen during my travels. What they do not know, most hotels today have conformed to the needs of the fitness enthusiast. These hotels actually contain, if not a full service athletic club, at the least, a dedicated exercise room with new, state of the art, equipment. Growing ever popular are the cardiovascular machines, complete with it's own fan and HDTV built into it's console. Quite frequently there are also popular gyms near the hotel. The hotel's front desk staff may furnish you with a day pass to these facilities. In many cases, your hotel may be situated near running trails or parks. Recently while in Minneapolis I took advantage of a natural reserve near my hotel and went for a peaceful wilderness run. My point being, there's no excuse for me to skip a workout unless to just relax and take a break - and that's OK once in a while. On the occasion I'm able to find a popular gym like Golds, 24 hour, Balley's or YMCA near my hotel, I put more effort into a full workout so when back home I have plenty of time for more important things in life - like laundry, dust or vacuum. :-)

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Hydration


Recently I read the human body contains every element in our galaxy. In other words, we are living, moving, and breathing fingerprints of where we come from in terms of in our galactic neighborhood. Water is the one element throughout space exploration found only here, on planet Earth, and our body's are comprised of approximately 60 percent of the H2O. The amazing thing about this, aside from other living organisms, we are physically responsible to maintain this level throughout our lives or else die from dehydration. Another amazing thing, through technology, we are able to adapt to different climates because we know how to move and or bring water where it normally does not belong.

When working out or working in the yard, it seems like I cannot hold on to water. This is a process of exertion, and the body will sweat in order to cool itself down. A power walk will expel approximately a pound of water. Dehydration can occur rapidly with people who have been burned, experience frequent urination, fever, and diarrhea. Some of the initial signs of dehydration are thirst, and lack of urination, or your urine is very yellow. A more advanced level of dehydration would show signs of dry mouth, lack of sweat, muscle cramps and nauseousness.

This will lead to the question of how much water do I need? This all depends on your health, energy level, and your climate. Our medical community suggests we use the 8 by 8 rule. This is eight, eight ounce glasses of water a d day. Some of us require more, but rarely less, in order for our metabolism to work properly. As a flight attendant working in a very arid atmosphere I must constantly remind myself to drink water.